Haven't updated in a while.... having some difficulties at the moment with stupid girls.... one of pete's ex-lovers is totally underminding my alpha female status.... it started at his 4th of july party when she gave me that look... the one that says "I'm SO much better than you" and then I found out from Pete that before the party she had mentioned to him that she was jealous that we were dating and that she didn't want him to tell me that she felt that way.... AHHHHH!!!  And then she wanted a photo of her and him and she has her arm around him in the photo.... and then when she left she asked for a hug.... bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch!!!!!!!!  and she is leaving comments on everything he posts on facebook.... i told him he has to straighten this shit out because i am NOT putting up with it..... fuck that shit fuck her and fuck stupid girls in general......

just ticked off.... needed to rant... want to scream.... but i wont.... whatever.

87% of my eggs have been predated!  YAY!!! I won't need to borrow Scott's data now.  This makes me about 3 points happier, on a 10 point scale.

i can't do this anymore, i really really can't.

64 on my physics test.  i've been getting steadily worse every time on these tests.  i suck at chemistry too...

i need to get this paper done and i just can't focus on anything. 

i'm tired all the time. 

i don't know how i'm going to get everything done.

there is so much to do and i just feel paralyzed by it all.

i've been horrible to my family these past few days.  i've been a bitch and i've been snappy with them.

and they just want to hang out with me, and i just don't have the patience to sit with them.

and i should have just gone to URI tonight and studied there, but i didn't feel like wasting the gas after i got home from work.  i didn't feel like leaving my house. 

and i hate that the fucking URI library database needs me to go and fish out my student id every time i want to look at scientific journal articles.  that means i have to get up and then come back.  i just want things to be quick and easy.

i have to get up early tomorrow to go check for eggs because apparently i'm the only person that has weekends?  even though Marissa LIVES ON CAMPUS!  she said she couldn't do weekends.  I have work at 11:30 am tomorrow till 7pm.  I have to check those fucking eggs in the morning and hopefully find the sites within a reasonable amount of time because I have to go straight to work after.

I hate my life, i really do.  every day i wake up and i don't know how i'm going to get through this semester.  my gpa is going to be shitty because of chem and physics. 

half the time i feel like i don't belong in my major.  i feel stupid and never good enough.  i don't feel like i fit in at all.  everyone is so smart and they know what they want to do with their lives.  they've all done things relating to our field... all i did was a Coastal Fellowship and I'm volunteering at a Wildlife Clinic.

i know junior year is supposed to be hard, but this is just fucking ridiculous.

i've never procrastinated this much in my entire life. 

i just don't know how i'm going to make it through the rest of this semester.
 

finished my take-home exam for wetland wildlife management.  that was NOT as easy.... unfortunately.  A LOT of Excel bullshit... OH!!! AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!
 

so i was working on a histogram for Harlequin Duck populations last night.  it was the second to last question to my exam.  i had just finished setting up a useful little table that gave me all the data i needed to put into the histogram setup on ChartWizard... all was well with the world.  i finished my chart and i was about to add the error bars.... when all of a sudden... out of NOWHERE!!!  Excel decided to close down... telling me that none of my data was saved and that if i wanted, i could send a error message to Microsoft.... um NO! 

so.... i lost my cute little table with Harlequin Ducky info... and my histogram.... and my standard deviation section... and my error bars....

and i began once more...

BOO!!!

but it is over now. 

wasn't hard as much as it was just A LOT of work, ya know?  whatev...

trying to do a chem lab report.  unfortunately the moles of NaOH are not matching up with the moles of HCl... which they are supposed to be doing because the mole-to-mole ration of NaOH to HCl is 1:1... and it is NOT working out for me....

granted this whole fucking procedure was wickety-whack, yo.

truly, it was.

the data tables were set up before results... but calculation examples were out of order.... and the procedure was after the procedure of setting up the buret... and the buret should have been after the procedure... because we spent 15 minutes trying to figure out what solution to add to the buret to pre-rinse the freaking bastard....

OH!  but that wasn't the best part... because.... you see...

OUR BURET VALVE WAS CLOGGED!!!!!

so we spent a half hour trying to fix it... didn't work....

so the TA told us to use that buret over there.... well guess what?!  THAT BURET VALVE WAS CLOGGED TOO!!!

by now, my partner and i are freaking out... it was already 12:40 and we hadn't ever started our first trial....  there were supposed to be 4.... class would end at 2... i couldn't stay late because i had an exam at 2 in my wetlands class... This was last Thursday.

So, thankfully two of our lab mates allowed us to copy their experimental data.  and then we followed along with them as they did their final two trials.  THANK YOU!!!!

but as i'm saying now, my moles of NaOH aren't matching up, and i'm a little confused as to what i am supposed to use for my experimental value... because i need that to calculate my percent error....

*SIGH*

so, i did whatever calculations i could without using NaOH....  and then I stopped.  I emailed my lab partner to see if she made any head-way with this mess of a chem lab.  she's at work right now, though.

so, i'm reading up on dinosaurs instead.  this textbook is the BEST textbook i've ever owned.  it is a wonderful read.  my professor wrote it, and you can totally see his personality shining through in it.  he is this sarcastic bastard of a paleontologist, and i love him for it.  and his sarcastic personality shines in this writing.  so, this textbook is a really awesome read.  i am 3 chapters behind now, but the chapters read fast once you get into the Groups.  So far I have read through Stegosauria and Ankylosauria.  I'm onto the Order (?) of Marginocephalia.  It houses two Groups: Pachycephalosauria and Ceratopsia.  Pachycephalosauria have those "head-butting" dinos... actually, they didn't head-butt at all... that would of broken their necks.  instead, it is thought that they used their heads to butt into eachother's flanks.  they could have head-butted, but not at the speed you would see in Jurassic Park.... More like the way two deer grapple with eachother.

it's all for sexual selection, yo.

same with the frill of Ceratopsia.  the horns were more for sexual selection like when two bulls fight for a herd.  they were good for defense, but that wasn't their function primarily.  the frills were useless for defense, because they were fragile.  they were probably more or less used for display...

I LOVE DINOS!!!!!

ok... i need to get back to reading.  i just wanted to keep you all posted on what i'm up to.

ps.  i'm thinking about chopping my hair off and becoming a pixie again ; )